lolalita (lolalita) wrote,
lolalita
lolalita

Hellfire and Termites

Suprise! I'm actually updating!

A great thing about these LiveJournals is that

you update them everyday, the bad thing about

these these LiveJournals is that you can update them everyday. Sooo, another day goes by and no

updatey, and another and another...

To think y'all wasted a whole week waiting on

lil' ole me to update! KIDDING!



Well, hold on cause I got an eye full of tears and a jumbo bag of "Even More Disgustingly Cheesier

and Vomit-smelling Than Before!!!!" Doritos.





No, this isn't another pity party number #999999999999. I itched the corner of my eye

with said Dorito cheese powder on my finger and

now I am partially blinded in my right eye.



Man, life is sooooo hard duuuude!



Yup, I'm in sassy mood and a tad cranky

cause I had to make business cards at work today,

plus deal with the landlord in the morning while

my shit-cave remains in shatters.



As I type these very words, I sit atop

a giant plastic sheet covering the entire

apt. protecting the scum-soaked, brown shag carpeting (which is going to be replaced

anyway!) from a gaping, dust coughing gash in

the ceiling. Fun day!



And it's all because my housemates and I worship

SATAN! That's right! We suck beezlebub's

cock and are proud of it! At least according to

the son of the termite exterminator who

paid us a visit last week.

I was not present, but my housemate

was asked by this 16 yr-old kid "who

he followed?". Satan was not the first thing

to enter his mind, nor was Mr. God for that matter, so he just said "Huh?" Cutting to the

chase,the kid was like "Do you follow Satan?"

Damn I wish I was there! I would have lit some candles and dipped into my fake blood reserves in

the bathroom! Where's that rubber chicken....



So, anyhow, my housemate said "Marx" but that he didn't really "follow" him he just studied his theories....but there's no use getting out of that one...



Reasons he thought we worship Satan (guessing):



The huge poster of the Misfits in full Devil-lock

regalia



The Gene Simmons plastic action figure



A picture of Cal Ripkin,Jr with the

word "Cock" written over his head in 72 pt font



The "Black Death" flyer in the bathroom from

some stupid goth club in Philly



Signed picture of Gunnar Hanson from

Tx. Chainsaw Massacre



Musical instruments ( instruments of the

devil doncha know!!)



Books on Communism and Socialism prominitly

displayed on our contertop (never trust

a Red! Red like the fires of hell!!!)



A picture of shiva (pagan gods)



A Jesus air freshener hung upside down (sacrilage!)



And the # 1 reason the termite exterminator's

son thought we are agents of the devil:



Our apartment is infested with termites!!!!



(The last one is not a guess, this is what

he told my housemate)



Well than, I guess yer daddy profits of the

devils handywork!! (Saddistic laugh....)



Yes, so forget the locusts, bring on the termites...it does indeed seem as if we are living in hell.
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