A great thing about these LiveJournals is that
you update them everyday, the bad thing about
these these LiveJournals is that you can update them everyday. Sooo, another day goes by and no
updatey, and another and another...
To think y'all wasted a whole week waiting on
lil' ole me to update! KIDDING!
Well, hold on cause I got an eye full of tears and a jumbo bag of "Even More Disgustingly Cheesier
and Vomit-smelling Than Before!!!!" Doritos.
No, this isn't another pity party number #999999999999. I itched the corner of my eye
with said Dorito cheese powder on my finger and
now I am partially blinded in my right eye.
Man, life is sooooo hard duuuude!
Yup, I'm in sassy mood and a tad cranky
cause I had to make business cards at work today,
plus deal with the landlord in the morning while
my shit-cave remains in shatters.
As I type these very words, I sit atop
a giant plastic sheet covering the entire
apt. protecting the scum-soaked, brown shag carpeting (which is going to be replaced
anyway!) from a gaping, dust coughing gash in
the ceiling. Fun day!
And it's all because my housemates and I worship
SATAN! That's right! We suck beezlebub's
cock and are proud of it! At least according to
the son of the termite exterminator who
paid us a visit last week.
I was not present, but my housemate
was asked by this 16 yr-old kid "who
he followed?". Satan was not the first thing
to enter his mind, nor was Mr. God for that matter, so he just said "Huh?" Cutting to the
chase,the kid was like "Do you follow Satan?"
Damn I wish I was there! I would have lit some candles and dipped into my fake blood reserves in
the bathroom! Where's that rubber chicken....
So, anyhow, my housemate said "Marx" but that he didn't really "follow" him he just studied his theories....but there's no use getting out of that one...
Reasons he thought we worship Satan (guessing):
The huge poster of the Misfits in full Devil-lock
The Gene Simmons plastic action figure
A picture of Cal Ripkin,Jr with the
word "Cock" written over his head in 72 pt font
The "Black Death" flyer in the bathroom from
some stupid goth club in Philly
Signed picture of Gunnar Hanson from
Tx. Chainsaw Massacre
Musical instruments ( instruments of the
devil doncha know!!)
Books on Communism and Socialism prominitly
displayed on our contertop (never trust
a Red! Red like the fires of hell!!!)
A picture of shiva (pagan gods)
A Jesus air freshener hung upside down (sacrilage!)
And the # 1 reason the termite exterminator's
son thought we are agents of the devil:
Our apartment is infested with termites!!!!
(The last one is not a guess, this is what
he told my housemate)
Well than, I guess yer daddy profits of the
devils handywork!! (Saddistic laugh....)
Yes, so forget the locusts, bring on the termites...it does indeed seem as if we are living in hell.